What if your current difficulties offer you an opportunity to actually strengthen your relationship?
Revive My Relationship is a 6-session programme designed to help you to focus in on what’s not working in your relationship and why. In these sessions you will access personal insights, simple techniques and tools to help you to identify what’s at the core of the difficulty and how you can make some changes to overcome the gridlock. Or take your relationship to another level! Suitable for Couples & Individual clients aged 18+
Whatever you are dealing with in your relationship right now, we’re fairly sure we will have heard of couples struggling with something similar before. Our specialist therapists help individuals and couples to explore and work through a wide range of issues that are impacting their relationships. These include:
|Anxiety & Depression|
|Confidence & Self esteem|
|Fertility & Pregnancy|
|Separation & Divorce|
|Sex & Intimacy|
How Can I Revive My Relationship?
When we look for love, the goal can be to find ‘the one’ – or at least not just someone who’s ‘good enough’, or ‘all right’. And why should we.
For many people though, the relationship of their dreams has almost mystical qualities. You are connected physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. You know each other intimately, not needing to communicate with words but simply through knowing. You are ‘so on the same page’ that your preferences and opinions are always in synch, and it is hoped that the ‘butterflies’ feeling of being in love lasts forever.
In reality, when it comes to love, there’s usually a degree of heartache too. Unfortunately, the more someone matters to you, the more chance there is of feeling disappointment and hurt, anger, jealousy, guilt and pure frustration in response to something they’ve done or said or implied (or not even noticed!).
There is no love without hate; and there is no hate without love. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference; the opposite of feeling can only be the absence of feeling…
Love and hate must go hand in hand; and the people we love most we hate also, because hate is grounded in the nature of loveWilhelm Stekel; Austrian psychologist (1921)
And, while it is indeed true that many of us would say that ‘compromise’ is an important part of being in a relationship, perhaps there’s still a part of you that dreams of being in a relationship that’s rather more effortless.
As relationship therapists, we see that it’s when a couple learns to deal with the ups and downs of life and the disappointment of not being with a ‘perfect soulmate’, that the foundations for an enduring relationship are laid.
Experiencing difficult feelings is a demonstration that this relationship means a lot to you. If it matters it can push you into making changes and finding ways to overcome the difficulties you didn’t think possible. Working through problems together, can help you to transcend notions of who’s right and who’s wrong, and ultimately unite the two of you, sometimes against all the odds. But it typically takes commitment to seeing it through with conscious effort, generosity and respect – and a very good sense of humour – even when you don’t feel like it and for longer than you’d probably choose.
It’s up to you to decide ultimately if this relationship is worth all that, but if you’re at least open to considering that it is, we can guide you in an enquiry to find out.
A Relationship Revival Guide
There really is no model we can present to you here, to say exactly how we can help you. However, our experience suggests that if you commit to our programme of six guided sessions with a BeLoveCurious therapist, you’ll gain significant personal insight into the issue at hand that will help you decide how to move forward.
If you’re still unsure, why not book in for a 60 minute Introductory Session so we can together consider if this service is right for you?
‘Revive My Relationship’ Programme Outline
This is a semi-structured programme of six, one hour conversations with a BeLoveCurious Relationship Therapist. Designed to help you to focus in on what’s not working in your relationship and why. You will access useful personal insights, simple techniques and tools to help you to identify what’s at the core of the difficulty and how you can make some changes to overcome the gridlock. Suitable for Couples & Individual clients aged 18+ Couples can request to have individual sessions as part of/ in addition to.
|Getting to Know You|
|Tell your therapist about your relationship story so far – how it all began, where you’re at, where you want to be & what you think are the barriers to being in a fulfilling relationship with your current partner. If you’ve already had a trial session, we’ll focus here on an extra ‘Conversation that Matters’.|
|Conversations that Matter|
|Sessions 2-4 We’ll stay focused on the main problem(s) identified in Session 1. If you’re here to talk about an Affair, we’ll concentrate on the circumstances, the impact of what’s happened and what it will take to get your relationship back on track. If it’s Communication or Arguments, we’ll find out what’s not working and identify how you can break the negative cycle. We may be curious about about other aspects of life that might shed light on the difficulties too…|
|Session 3||We might be curious about… when you’re good together and when not, how you do communication; your relationship rules and ideas about families, roles and responsibilities|
|Session 4||We might be curious … about the strategies you use (knowingly and otherwise) to seek/avoid emotional or physical intimacy or if there are unresolved issues from the earlier days of your relationship that still affect you|
|Making Sense of My Story|
|Reflecting on conversations so far, we’ll consider the thoughts, behaviours and patterns that have been impacting your relationship. As we make sense of your story, it becomes possible to identify the kinds of changes that will transform your relationship to each other, and even to yourself|
|By Session 6, it’s likely that you’ll already have lots of your own ideas about the kinds of changes you can make. We’ll help you to clarify what’s important to you going forward, and offer some simple steps to coach you in committing to action – even if your partner’s still reluctant|
|Keeping It Up!|
|Your BeLoveCurious therapist will stay by your side for as long as you like, as and when you need them. In additional sessions they can help you to stay focused on what’s important to you in your love, sex and relationship life, support you as you put new strategies into practice, and help you go beyond your uniquely personal barriers so you can do your part in creating the kind of relationship you want.|