Why curiosity is your key to finding love

Aren’t you already just a little bit curious about why some people find it so easy to date, be flirty, attract the ‘right’ kind of guy or girl, or have a love life that really works for them – and yet for you it’s never quite so straightforward?

At the simplest level, the invitation to BeLoveCurious, is asking you to do just that. To get curious about the questions and stories you have about life, love, sex and relationships through a conversation with a BeLoveCurious relationship expert.

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BeLoveCurious, is asking you to do just that. To get curious about the questions and stories you have about life, love, sex & relationships through a conversation with a professional relationship therapist

How Do I Be-Love-Curious?

Working with one of our specialist relationship therapists, you will be encouraged to tell your own love life story and start making sense of it. Through the process of considering how it is now, and reflecting on past events and how you see the future, you will inevitably focus on parts of your love life story that are important to you.

Together you will explore why certain people and events have come to be so important in your story, and the meanings you have made about yourself, others or life because of them.

In your unique love story you might see yourself as “the one who can’t commit”, or “is not what men want”, “too giving in relationships” or “not worthy of love.” Or perhaps the supporting cast has let you down; “men can’t deal with successful women like me”, or “my parents were terrible role models” . Noticing these narratives as crucial to how you think, feel and act in relationships is a powerful step on the path to change.

It doesn’t end there of course. Knowing why you might be love stuck rather than love struck won’t in itself make a huge amount of difference. Change almost always comes from doing some things differently – it’s just a question of what will work for you. This is where working with your BeLoveCurious expert as your champion for love will help you see how you can make the meaningful changes in your life that will really make a difference and turn your love life around – naturally, and for good.

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Curiosity is the key to answering important questions honestly, without fear, blame or shame

Being curious is the attitude we suggest you take on when you’re telling your story. The word ‘curiosity’ simply describes a way to observe something with interest from a quite neutral, non-judgemental place. So, if you’re being curious about you, it follows that you can consider and question the details of your own story as an impartial observer – like watching and commenting on a film of your life rather than being the main actor in it.

When you are being curious, you can face up to the important questions and answer those questions honestly – What is it about my first break-up that is still so important to me today? When did I decide I would only date men under six feet tall? When did I come to believe that every marriage is doomed to fail? Who do I blame for my lack of relationship success? – without feeling that you’re to blame, or a bad person, or a powerless victim of circumstance.

Curiosity is the key to conversations that make a real difference

What makes conversations at BeLoveCurious different to the ones you might have with your friends (or even in your own head!) is that your therapist will be curious about you too. They will listen attentively to what and how you say things, and then ask those questions that will prompt you to think more deeply about, connect with, and feel the impact of your story as you’re telling it.

Being curious together helps you to expand and deepen your understanding of your own story, bringing clarity and fresh perspective to the details. You will start to notice where you’ve added meaning to things that happened in your life and how these have affected how you behave in (and out of) relationships. You might also notice things that weren’t in your awareness before – bodily sensations or thoughts or emotions that seem unfamiliar or somehow stronger, or come up again and again as a recurring theme. All of this new, richer information will help you to move towards understanding what’s in the way to having a love life you love.

The biggest change can come when you realise that you’re the author of your own love story, whatever the circumstances of your life. There is no blame or shame in this realisation – it is just another idea to observe and be curious about.

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Curiosity is the key to creating a future you’ll love

This is the really exciting part! Seeing yourself as the author as well as narrator of your story has you realise that you can choose to write a new chapter in your love life.

Your BeLoveCurious therapist will work with you to be curious about the love life you want to create for yourself. What kind of relationship do you want? What qualities does your ideal partner have? What does he/she truly value and appreciate in you? What kind of life will you create together? Where would this person live, work, play? What else …?

Curiosity is the key to trying out new things to make your new love story come true

Understanding your past and knowing what you want from the future, rather than thinking only about what you might get, gives you the inspiration, insight and motivation to start doing what you need to do to make your new story come true.

Taking the actions that are right for you really does have the potential to deliver this kind of life-changing result. That might sound impossible to you right now. And some people might not be ready yet to give up the old stories and take responsibility for the way things have turned out and the way things will be. However, we know that the process of being love curious and taking the actions that are right for you really does have the potential to deliver this kind of life-changing result.

That is why all our BeLoveCurious therapists are already totally curious about you and are 100% committed to helping you re-story your future – no matter how challenged you’ve been until now in your love and relationship life.