Category Archives: In the news

Read our great press & online media coverage here. From dating & relationship advice, service reviews and client stories, BLC isn’t just in the news, we’re making it too!

January 7, 2017


Metro newspaper logo

How to make your excuses from a disappointing date

BeLoveCurious Founder & Relationship Therapist Helen Rice offers a quick tip to journalist Helen Croydon on how to make a decent escape from a disappointing date.

BeLoveCurious Therapist & Founder Helen Rice asks readers to offer some helpful and constructive feedback to their fellow dater instead of resorting to the little white lie. She suggests that not only is it OK to give authentic feedback as long as it’s compassionate and kind, but taking this approach will probably leave you feeling much more positive about yourself too.

Ask yourself – Would I like to hear what I’m about to say?  Then let them know what’s not working for you here. You might say “I like you but I don’t think we are on the same page … politically/ musically/ culturally/ sexually … etc”.

Or, like others suggest here,  why not give your disappointing date the benefit of the doubt for a little longer – at least if they tick a good few of your boxes. Sometimes it’s hard to make a good impression when you’re a little nervous, so why not give your date the chance to relax a bit while you take a bit more time to check them out. You never know, that might make the difference between yet another cut-and-run date and one that has a chance to develop and last the distance.

January 4, 2017


Psychologies Magazine Logo

Difficult Family Relationships – A Survival Guide

BeLoveCurious Founder & Relationship Therapist Helen Rice offers some simple advice on managing difficult family relationships to Psychologies journalist Martha Roberts.

In the article, published in the January 2017 edition of Psychologies Magazine, Helen considers the traits and temperaments of loved ones who can be ‘Controlling’ or ‘Victims’ in the family and provides some helpful strategies for managing them – and yourself- when they’re acting up. Other commentators also give their advice on some other familiar faces; the ‘Tyrant’, the ‘Drama Queen’ and the ‘Denier’.Psychologies Magazine Jan 2017 Cover - Difficult Family Relationships

The article makes an extremely important point – that although it can seem that the  ‘difficult’ family member is always the main focus for the present drama or dissent, it is far more likely that it has been co-created, with others in the group equally playing their part.

Helen says “As a relationship specialist, I think of a family like a single organism or a complex system with interconnected parts. Each person acts and reacts to every other person in a mix of subtle and overt ways, both deliberately and unconsciously. Surprisingly, how each of us acts and reacts in a given situation will be mostly pre-determined by our given role in the family. Think of it like being given a role to play in a TV soap opera or a gritty real-life drama. Each person finds their role to play early in life and this becomes more ingrained over time. That’s why you’ll see the same person behaving in the same kind of ways in similar situations over and over again, and why our own habitual ways of acting/reacting are so difficult to change. Interestingly in the search for a romantic partner or even at work, we can encounter people who remind us of a particular family member and find ourselves reacting in those very same familial patterns whether we like it or not!”

There is good news though. It is possible to find more successful ways of getting along with one another and bringing down the final curtain on your endless soap opera. Managing difficult family relationships starts with managing yourself and your reaction to them and then seeing how everyone else begins to change around you!

Some General Do’s & Don’ts

• Don’t make excuses for your own bad behaviour. Own it
• Do set boundaries – be aware of your emotional needs and acknowledge that you have a right for these to be met
• Do talk openly about relationship problems
• Don’t settle for less than you want in a relationship
• Don’t make yourself responsible for others’ hurtful words and actions
• Do model effective behaviour – be the change you want them to take on
• Don’t give up on them or offer a label
• Do seek out professional help when things get too difficult.

Learn more about Dealing with Difficult Relationships by subscribing to our newsletter today.

December 7, 2016


Mail Online logo

Christmas present buying etiquette

According to journalist Caroline Garnar at the Mail Online, present buying at Christmas can be a minefield. Questions of how much to spend, whether to risk surprising recipients with a gift you’re not sure they want, and the gifts you really should avoid are top of mind for many of us, regardless of our relationship status.

In this article covering the present buying etiquette in 2015 for partners to teens, neighbours and friends, FEMAIL asked experts including BeLoveCurious’s own relationship expert & Founder Helen Rice for their top tips to avoid embarrassment when buying for your partner or latest love – and to ensure the only thing that’s red this Christmas is Rudolf’s nose!

March 16, 2016


new! magazine - expert relationship advice from Helen Rice

Age Gap Romance – Can it work?

BLC Founder &relationship therapist Helen Rice* offered some perspective on the age gap romance between Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and 22 year-old One Direction Star Liam Payne in a recent new! magazine article.

The article by journalist Sarah Morton asked whether the 10-year age gap might be a problem as Cheryl is allegedly keen to have children, while Liam is just launching his solo career.

Helen offered a non-judgemental view, suggesting that there’s no need for the couple to rush into things. Here’s Helen’s full response to Sarah’s questions:

What attracts a woman to a younger man?
Life has moved on from the time – not so long ago – when it was the norm for women to be financially and reproductively dependent on their male partners. It used to be widely understood and accepted that rich and powerful men would be drawn to ‘pretty young things’. These days, women too have the power and confidence to make life choices that suit them – including who to date and for what purpose. It’s unlikely Cheryl’s chosen to date Liam to be her long-term partner and baby-daddy (although she might), but more a case of it being an undeniable ego-boost to have such an attractive younger man’s attention and sexual interest as she’s emerging from a rather messy and painful marriage.

He’s at the cusp of a solo career – will he even want kids right now? And if Cheryl does how will they work it out?
Cheryl said recently that she’ll leave the decision to get pregnant up to fate and at 32 there’s definitely no hurry – biologically the optimum childbearing age is between 20 and 35 years old so the couple have a while yet to see how things work out. It’s the couple’s emotional, not their actual, ages that will determine how they’d cope with having children right now though. The age gap doesn’t really matter – it’s what they’ve been through and how they’ve learned to cope with life’s ups and downs that does. Building a relationship has everything to do with being on the same page and working towards shared goals so if they’re both ready to settle down and start a family then why not. If Liam is more interested in kick-starting his solo career then at 22 he might not yet be ready for that commitment.

Is it wise to go into a relationship with a sell-by date and wanting different things? Timing is everything, surely?
To be in a successful relationship, couples don’t have to do everything together or think the same as each other – that’s actually quite impossible. It is important though that they share core values and have similar priorities and goals when it comes to the big stuff. If each person wants different things – or the same thing but at different times in life – it can be incredibly hard to stay satisfied with a difficult compromise over the long haul. The person making the sacrifice can feel they gave way too soon or that their partner let them down in some way. The bottom line is it is much easier to build and sustain a happy relationship if a couple’s mismatched priorities are limited and relatively insignificant in the big picture.

Cheryl & Liam age gap romance article

NOTE: *The article mistakenly refers to Ann Rice, but the reference to BeLoveCurious.com is spot on!

February 15, 2016


Tesco logo - BeLoveCurious

Finances in Relationships – Making money-talk easy

Tesco Magazine has tackled the thorny issue of dealing with finances in relationships in its February 2016 ‘Love is …’ edition.

‘Spare your money blushes’ asks a number of experts for advice to help navigate some of the awkward conversations around money. BeLoveCurious Founder Helen Rice is asked how she helps couples to manage difficulties that arise when there is a significant imbalance in the amount of money available to each partner. This can arise through differences in salary, where one person stays home to look after the children while the other works, or when one has benefited financially from their family background or an inheritance for example. For many couples, the imbalance alone can be a source of tension and argument. However, the economic divide can also be about more than just the money – it can provide a basis for a real or perceived imbalance in each person’s status and value in the relationship too.

Helen’s approach is to work with the couple to find ways to minimise the day-to-day experience of any imbalance and to develop their understanding of each other so they can have those tricky discussions about money-matters without it escalating into a row.

Helen expands on some of the key points raised in the article with these 4 key ways to make money talk easy:

1 Share decision-making

Every couple is different in terms of what’s acceptable, but something everyone can do is agree to share all spending decisions that affect both parties – for example how much to spend on furniture for the home, or where to go and how much to spend on holiday. The process of give-and-take can be challenging of course, since either or both of you will have to give up something of your position, but relationships are all about negotiation and cooperation, so why should discussing money matters be any different?

2. Have some ‘fun money’

If one partner has a great deal more disposable income than the other, it may be useful to have a ‘fun money pot’ that’s used for treats together – both can put the same amount into this or perhaps the higher earner contributes more. The point is that both parties feel comfortable with their own and their partners contribution – and both of you get to enjoy the fruits of your joint effort together.

3. Suspend your judgement 

Most conflict comes from thinking you’re right and your partner’s wrong. Yet these ideas of right and wrong are generally just ideas that have been instilled in us from an early age. As it’s likely that you both grew up in very different households with different attitudes and rules about money, being willing to discuss your stories about having/not having enough cash-to-splash and what it means to spend and save is the way to reach a better understanding of each other.  Realising that your partner isn’t just being mean or spendthrift can help you offer a little more give and take and can pave the way to developing practical strategies that serve both your needs.

4. Be accepting

It may sound obvious, but just learning to accept that your partner earns more or less than you, and being happy that they are willing to let you contribute in the way that you do, is a significant step towards peace. No one is ultimately valued for their financial worth – especially in a loving relationship – so try to bring some focus onto what you are contributing and learn to value the collective effort of creating a life and a home together.

finances in relationshipsTesco Finances in Relationships p1Finances in Relationships

 

 

 

January 29, 2016


Metro newspaper logo

Breaking the bad boy habit

Metro journalist Amy Dawson explores why some of us love bad boys so much and asks BLC Founder Helen Rice why dating Mr Wrong can be so alluring – and how to break the habit!

In the article – prompted by the Twitter-ama around Natasha’s love tangle with bad boy Anatole in the BBC’s adaptation of War & Peace – Amy quotes Helen as saying there are a number of reasons many of us find bad boys (or girls) so attractive. And dating one usually serves a purpose.

Helen says “Women are often attracted to the thrill and gravitas of being with a bad boy. Especially if they have always been something of a ‘good girl’”. It might also stem from insecurity. “Some girls (and guys) just don’t think they deserve any better. Perhaps previous bad relationships or earlier experiences have left them believing they can’t be with someone who treats them right (which is simply not true of course, so if that’s you please stop it!).

One thing Helen is quite clear about though, while you may be getting something from a bad boy relationship when you’re in it, it’s unlikely to lead to a lasting, sustainable relationship. You won’t be able to change him/her, unless they’re ready for change – and that always has to come from within them. It’s very rarely prompted by you.

The good thing about infatuation with a ‘bad boy’ is that if you can keep your distance for a while, the intensity of the attraction usually dies down. Then you can learn something about yourself and move on to finding someone who will respect you and treat you right.

Here are few extra suggestions to help you get started on breaking the bad boy habit:

  • Am I really getting what I want here? List the qualities you don’t want in your relationship. Then list the qualities you do want. Which side is winning?
  • How does dating my bad boy make me feel? Write down the good and especially the bad things. Do you feel anxious every time you have a date planned thinking he might not turn up again; Do you flinch each time he gets a text, wondering if it might be another girl competing for his affection? Tell the truth now …
  • Why am I willing to tolerate this? Start with the words .. I’m dating X in order to …feel better about myself … fit in … not be alone … avoid doing what I really want to do …  Are you sure this is a good enough reason to be with them?
  • Say to yourself “I deserve better”. You already know your  ‘bad boy’ won’t change and is extremely unlikely to commit. So, be kind to yourself and put some distance between the two of you. In most cases breaking the bad boy habit simply starts by putting a bit of time and space between you to get over the infatuation
  • Consider whether it’s ever worth the effort in trying to change him/her. It might help to remember that succeeding in changing your ‘bad boy’ to a more manageable version would leave you dating someone very different to the person you fell for in the first place!!

Read Sophie’s Story to hear how a few coaching sessions with Helen helped her to swap her endless pursuit of younger, unavailable bad boys for the life of travel and adventure she secretly craved.

January 20, 2016


Saga logo coach to confidence

7 Ways to coach yourself to confidence

This Saga Magazine article by Jane Murphy offers tips from several life coaches designed to help you coach yourself to confidence.

In the online article “Are you your own worst critic?” Jayne says the average woman criticises herself at least eight times a day!

BeLoveCurious Founder & Coach Helen Rice offers her suggestion to push your boundaries and take on a small challenge every day. She says by ‘facing the fear and doing it anyway’, you will really start to transform your negative confidence habit. Starting with a small daily challenge such as smiling at a stranger, or making a phone call you’ve been avoiding, will help you gather some positive experiences. It is this positive reinforcement – done again and again – that will eventually help you shush your own critical inner voice. After a short time you’ll find your challenges will have to get bigger as your confidence naturally grows!

If you’d prefer not to go it alone, BeLoveCurious offers a six session Confidence Boosting package with a BLC Coach for just £299. Why not start your year full of fresh – and authentic! – confidence?

Read more here – Book now – Call 0333 444 1009

January 17, 2016


Daily Mail You Magazine logo

My mate, my mentor & my dating dilemmas

BeLoveCurious Founder Helen is featured prominently in this Daily Mail You magazine article. Journalist Ruth Tierney focuses on women who are life coaches to their friends.

In the piece, friend Marsha explains how Helen gives her the support and advice to deal with her dating dilemmas. She describes Helen’s style as non-judgmental, warm and open and says it’s Helen’s own story of “having been there and done that in terms of bad relationships” and finally finding happiness that she finds most inspiring.

When asked what her most memorable moment was, Marsha explains “it was Helen calmly sipping her tea after I’d given her the nitty-gritty on my sex life


new! magazine - expert relationship advice from Helen Rice

Expert relationship advice for CBB Kristina

BLC Founder &relationship therapist Helen Rice offers some expert relationship advice in this week’s new! magazine to CBB star Kristina Rihanoff & partner Ben Cohen as they prepare for their new baby.

The article by journalist Sarah Morton suggests that the celebrity couple’s fledgling relationship is unlikely to be “plain sailing” – especially now there’s a baby on the way too.

While Helen agrees with this view, and says no relationship is that easy to begin with, she doesn’t see the relationship as “definitely doomed” as some have suggested. Instead she offers a few words of advice on why this might be the perfect time for Kristina & Ben to actively develop greater closeness, empathy and care for each other to strengthen their bond. Helen also says, the next few months are a great opportunity to discuss, plan and prepare for a wonderful future together as a family – if that’s what they both truly want.

new! magazine cover Jan 22

November 30, 2015


Best newcomer nomination 2015

Finalist: UK Dating Awards 2015

BeLoveCurious Founder, Helen Rice was nominated as a Finalist in the Best Newcomer Category of the 2015 UK Dating Awards by a panel of dating industry experts.

The UK Dating Awards are a celebration of excellence and expertise in all areas of the Dating Industry. Established in 2014 by Charly Lester @30dates, the UK Dating Awards recognise and celebrate the work of both companies and individuals for their achievements in Dating Technology, Marketing, Media, Customer Service, Expertise and Entrepreneurship.

The Award of Best Newcomer, presented at a red carpet event on November 26th 2015, was sponsored by the Matchmaker Academy. Helen was therefore delighted to be the only finalist offering expert Relationship Counselling & Lovelife Coaching services among the nominees. Other nominees included several locally-based matchmaking services and dating profile photographer Lucy Williams at My Heart Skipped.

Helen Rice BeLoveCurious Founder on the red carpet at the UK Dating Awards 2015Best newcomer nomination 2015